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By Lola McKenzieJanuary 30 —. A wise man I know once said to me that, in its most true form, having sex with somebody can be as uncomplicated as having sushi with somebody. Meaning, having sex is a neutral, natural event and it is us humans who have placed all sorts of crazy meanings and rules and conditions onto it. Sex is neutral. Eating sushi Single horny wants sex flirt neutral. Same-same, right? I am recently single after a nearly five- year-long relationship. Five years of having sex with the same person — it was a good thing, by the way — and we had a fairly healthy sexual relationship.

However, I am now suddenly facing the dating world and sex is, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, a part of that world. Approaching having sex with a new person or persons was at first not complicated at all for me. I wanted it. I was horny AF and I wanted sex.

Fortunately for me and my raging libido, a flirtatious friend stepped in quickly and willingly attended to my desires. I figured I could have lots of fun sex with someone I knew and had an already established level of trust with, which is important. Despite my honesty and my attempts at cutting off this sexual relationship, I keep going back because I like having sex.

Sorry, not sorry. I am a woman, I admit publicly to really, really liking sex. I like him, we have fun.

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Or is it something deeper than that? And I also associate those feelings of being wanted and loved with a sense of safety. Safety, my friends, is a big deal for me. I have, somewhere in my life and psyche, made myself believe that in order to be safe I must not be alone.

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This is why sex is complicated, because of all this other stuff around sex. Sex itself is neutral. It really is like sushi! So where do I go from here? What can you, my dear sweet friend reading this, take away from my ramblings? It can be one thing for a week or so and then it can turn into something else. Be honest about how you feel, even at risk of sounding like a crazy person.

As a final thought, my issues around sex are my own personally applied meanings. I know there are a lot of other issues around it for every individual. In fact, the complete opposite used to be true. Just be smart and be safe about it and give yourself permission to dive in and see what happens. Happy sexing! Tagged: RelationshipsSex.

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons. By Lola McKenzieJanuary 30 — A wise man I know once said to me that, in its most true form, having sex with somebody can be as uncomplicated as having sushi with somebody.

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